A friend is a person that shares the same mutual bond as you do with them. Whether online or offline, a friend is someone you enjoy talking too.
Making friends has changed since online access and social media have become more popular. You can be friends with people across the globe, be able to catch up with them frequently, and maybe even meet up with them someday. Despite this, there are still ways to make amazing friends in person too. These friendships can be made at work, school or in public areas, such as the park or shopping centre.
Sometimes Friendships can become toxic, in some cases even without knowing!
But how do you know what things make a bad or Toxic friendship that is bad for your mental health? That's what we will be discussing today.
What makes a good friend? While all friendships are different many of them should have the same qualities and one all should have is that you enjoy spending time with this person, whether over the phone or in person, you should feel happiness after hanging out with them, feeling content with the fact you had a fun time and not doubt anything they did.
Good qualities in friendships:
Honesty. A honest friend will always be there for you and tell you whether it is about you or another person they should be truthful.
Respect. A friend should respect as you do them this can be on opinions, likes and dislikes you and your friend should respect their views even if it doesn't match your own.
Trust. You should be able to trust your friends with information you gave in private you shouldn't be hearing other people talking about it. (unless it's concerns about you).
Loyalty. A friend should be loyal and shouldn't be talking bad about you to other people.
Support. A friend should be supportive of you through bad times and good and be there for you whether you succeed or fail.
Empathy. A friend who understands your how you feel from your point of view and is always there for if you need them.
What makes a bad friend? A bad friend is exactly the opposite of what a good friend is but sometimes it can be hard to notice it until we're faced with a situation itself.
This could be a problem or a situation where you feel like your friend is becoming toxic.
This can sometimes end the friendship which can be really hard to deal with, especially if you have been friends for a while!
Though this isn't the only reasons some friendships fail, sometimes friend just naturally pull apart, this is really normal.
Bad qualities of bad friendships:
Unreliable. Friends that are unreliable if you need/want them to be there for you can be a sign of a toxic friendship.
Rude. Though there is banter between friendships there's a difference between banter and being rude and inappropriate, if a friend is rude and isn't apologetic over it maybe a sign of the friendship isn't healthy.
Overly Competitive. Competitiveness can be a normal thing especially if you're playing games, in a sport etc. But sometimes this friendly competitiveness can turn into something that makes you feel uncomfortable or like you are competing over skills or knowledge with your friend which doesn't feel very nice.
Gossip. Gossip is a usual occurrence in many spaces but once that gossip becomes really toxic it can become an uncomfortable experience for a person to deal with.
Overstepping Boundaries. If there are boundaries in place for your friend to overstep them can be a massive problem in a friendship and if this is a continuous problem it could be a sign that this friendship is getting toxic.
Lying. You shouldn't be lying in a friendship it's better to be honest (even if it feels hard) than lie.
In conclusion, friendships especially ones that last long and follow the good qualities are amazing to have as you will always feel like if you're having a tough day there is someone by your side either to have a shoulder to cry on or to make a bad day good and that is a great feeling to have.
Written by: Cait Cooper
References:
20 Qualities of a True Friend: Recognising the Traits that Matter Most | Thankbox Blog 2023. [viewed Feb 14, 2024]. Available from: https://www.thankbox.com/blog/20-qualities-of-a-true-friend-recognising-the-traits-that-matter-most
3 ways to end a toxic friendship a. [viewed Feb 14, 2024]. Available from: https://au.reachout.com/articles/3-ways-to-end-a-toxic-friendship
CONTRIBUTORS, W.E., Signs of a Bad Friend [viewed Feb 14, 2024]. Available from: https://www.webmd.com/balance/signs-bad-friend
Online friends vs. offline friends: which are better for your social life?b. [viewed Feb 14, 2024]. Available from: https://www.calypsoroom.com/online-vs-offline-friends.html
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